


I'm All Alone Now

by BlanketWorms



Category: Neon Genesis Evangelion
Genre: Crying, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-05
Updated: 2014-08-05
Packaged: 2018-02-11 21:07:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 458
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2083164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlanketWorms/pseuds/BlanketWorms
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shinji cries about killing kaworu. really short angst fic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm All Alone Now

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this as a warm-up, but i decided it was pretty good and thought i'd share it.

　　“Am I all alone now?” Shinji thought, laying on his mat in Misato’s apartment.  
Earlier that evening, he murdered his best friend.  
　　“Even if he was an angel...it’s just not right.” he looked out the window, there was no moon tonight. Clouds coated the sky like a blanket, no stars could be seen.   
　　“why does this make me so sad...?” tears began to form at the corners of his eyes, falling down the side of his face and landing in his hair.   
　　“Kaworu used to watch the stars with me.” he remembered, sweet memories passed through his mind as he looked up at the cloudy sky.   
　　“I just want to see the stars one more time...just...just one more time,” he began to sob desperately.   
　　“...please Kaworu...” he sat up and wiped his face. “don’t leave me Kaworu...don’t leave me like this, I don’t want any of this, I just want to lay and watch the stars again,” he raised his voice, “just one more time Kaworu...please!” he pulled himself up to the window and pressed his forehead onto the glass, bringing a hand up to it soon after. Tears dripped and smeared onto the window. Shinji closed his eyes, almost hysterically sobbing and shaking now.   
　　“I felt some sort of obligation to say i love you back, because i really do feel that way, but i was so confused, i never said it back, i never gave you the affection you deserved. Kaworu...Kaworu i realize it now, i love you...i should’ve told you when-” he stopped, choking up from the memory. “...when you were alive.” he opened his eyes, watching his breath fog up the glass. He looked up at the sky again.   
　　  
　　The clouds had parted a bit, and there was a clearing in the navy blue canvas that is the night sky. There were glowing white dots of all sizes painted onto it.  
　　“stars...”  
　　It was beautiful. Shinji knew he had seen the same sight a million times, but this time it was different. It felt so much more important, even if it was just a small patch of stars visible to everyone in Japan.  
　　  
　　But this was so important to Shinji.  
　　He felt a warm comfort from the sight, and didn’t realize that he had stopped crying.  
　　It was almost as if Kaworu was reaching out to him, wrapping his arms around his frail body and holding him like you would a child. That was all Shinji wanted at the moment, To be in Kaworu’s arms, it was all he wanted for the rest of his pitiful life.  
　　“Kaworu?” he called out softly, almost a whisper.  
　　He waited.  
　　There was silence.  
　　There was nothing.  
　　  
　　“I’m all alone now.”


End file.
